A BUCKET LIST OF WISHES

Recently, a dear Priest-friend and I were waxing eloquently on the state of the Church today.  Given our respective ages (he’s 79 and I am a decade younger), we have convinced ourselves that age brings with it a certain wisdom and insight (just another in the many myths that have been concocted to give relevance to dotage).

Nevertheless, our conversation drifted toward our seminary days and our mutual belief that much of what we were taught provided little resource for the demands which would be placed upon us as Pastors.  During the course of our discussion, we agreed upon a “wish list”, one we would believe would have better prepared us to face the experiences we shared in common and a “wish list” we would propose (if anyone valued our opinions) for all those presently in seminary formation.

Our first wish:  that we would have been taught the skills of leadership, that rare and elusive ability which combines the creative talent to establish a vision and the practical ability to share that vision with others in a way that they will embrace it and contribute to its realization. 

By definition, the Church declared that we were leaders as it thrust into such positions by assignment.  It was assumed that those named as Pastors were those presumed to have such leadership skills.  Yet, truth be told, few of us were ever taught the art and science leadership requires to coordinate and balance both the mutual and conflicting interests of the parishioners that would be entrusted to our pastoral care. 

For much of our seminary formation, we were taught to be “loyal lieutenants” efficiently seeing that the orders of our superiors were carried out diligently and well.  But we were never really taught to be “able captains” who would one day issue orders from the helm of the parishes we would steer.
 
How beneficial would it have been to have been mentored in pastoral leadership by actual Pastors who had proved their leadership abilities in the laboratory of real life experience!

Our second wish:  that we would have been taught how to be successful business and financial managers. 

Take religion out of the equation and being a Pastor largely involves being the CEO of a small business.  We exited seminary formation well schooled in Scripture and theology for the most part, but with little or no understanding of the complex dynamics of running a small business operation, addressing such issues as accounting, cash flow, risk management, personnel, payroll and liability concerns, all of which would clutter our desks and occupy our attention an overwhelming amount of our time. 
 
Very few of us were capable of reading, let alone understanding, simple accounting reports.   I dare say the same is true of many Pastors serving in parishes right now.  Most of us just flew by the seat of our cassocks when it came to making financial ends meet, praying and hoping that the regular weekend collections and fundraisers would provide enough money to pay the bills and maybe (and rarely) have enough left over to put into savings for those proverbial rainy days. 

Nowadays, such financial matters are handled by Parish Business Managers, mostly lay persons with financial and business management skills.  I would have loved to have employed such a person, but I never had enough money to pay his or her salary.  How wonderful it would have been to have been schooled in the immutable laws of business and finance or to have had someone who would have overseen those matters with us and for us!

Next on our list of wishes:  that we would have been taught the art and skill of conflict management, if such indeed exists. 

It is truly amazing how people who supposedly gather to support and advance the work of the Gospel of charity and forgiveness can be so cruel to one another and so eager in expressing that cruelty. 

My friend and I agree that, among the experiences we shared in common as Pastors, the most difficult was dealing with people who came to us with personal agendas, unyielding in their determination to see those agendas fulfilled and unrelenting in their criticism and rancor should their particular demands not be satisfied.

We were never taught any practical way of dealing with such persons.  How to listen to them without irritation or judgment, how to expand their horizons of concern and help them appreciate that the Church, the parish, was larger than their narrow views of what was or wasn’t critical in fulfilling the mandate to proclaim the Gospel.

We were never taught to realize and appreciate that, no matter how hard we tried to deal with such people, we would sometimes, perhaps oftentimes fail.  We were never taught that some people are simply unreasonable and will never be satisfied unless their perceptions of reality are affirmed and their manner of dealing with those perceptions are employed. 

How reassuring it would have been to have had the knowledge not only that such human beings exists but that they are part of the Christian community, that they use their association with the Church as a sort of blackmail, threatening to walk away, to leave the parish should their demands not be met.  

How reassuring to have known that sometimes their leaving was the best solution for themselves and the communities they left, parishes which breathed a sigh of relief at their leaving.

And the final wish on our bucket list of wishes:  that we would have been taught that, for a goodly number of parishioners, the two issues most important in parish life can be summed up as follows.  “What time does Mass start?”  And, “How long will Mass last?” 

In other words, some parishioners (those without children in the parish school or school of religion, those without rebellious teenagers, those who aren’t involved in committees or councils, those not in sports programs, councils, committees or societies), in other words, the majority of parishioners simply want to come to church, hear the Gospel, receive the Sacraments and then go home. 

Success in pastoring doesn’t necessarily mean that the weekend bulletin be a ten page booklet, replete with page after page of schedules, and meetings, and programs and workshops, announcing this new initiative, the next fund drive, the upcoming bake or rummage sale. 

Not everyone in the parish is enthralled with the idea of spending what little time or energy they have left over after caring for their families or dealing with the demands of their individual lives, to spend that precious time and energy in parochial pursuits. 

And that’s okay.  It’s alright if some or most are not fully engaged in one or every aspect of parish activity.  It's enough that the Church provide them the wisdom of the Gospel and the Grace of the Sacraments.  And that's just fine!
 
Oh well, for the moment at least, this is the wish list my friend and I agree upon. 

I am sure it will be added to as we converse and reminisce about our days as active Pastors.  Perhaps, too, someone might hear of these wishes, find some merit in them, and maybe fulfill them in the training and formation of those young men whom the Lord Jesus, in His Loving concern for His Bride, the Church, continues to call to future Priestly service.