Speaking at a Pastoral Congress on the Family for the Diocese of Rome, Pope Francis responded to a number of questions pertaining to the crisis which the Church and society in general is presently facing regarding marriage and family life.
In answering those questions, the Holy Father stated the “the great majority” of Marriages are null and void.
He explained by referring to the fact that people today live in “a culture of the provisional”. “It’s provisional, and because of this the great majority of our sacramental marriages are null,” he said. “Because they say ‘yes, for the rest of my life!’ but they don’t know what they are saying. Because they have a different culture. They say it, they have good will, but they don’t know.”
In response to further questioning, the Pope stated that some couples are in a “real marriage” receiving the grace of the Sacrament while never having professed (for whatever reason) the vows before the Lord and the Church.
“I’ve seen a lot of fidelity in these cohabitations, and I am sure that this is a real marriage, they have the grace of a real marriage because of their fidelity,” he said.
In Part One of this article, I will address the Pope’s comments regarding the nullity of the great majority of Catholic marriages today. I shall examine and comment on his remarks about cohabiting couples receiving the grace of Sacramental Marriage in Part Two.
And so, Pope Francis believes that most Catholic marriages today are null and void because couples, living in a “culture of the provisional” are incapable of understanding and committing the exclusive and perpetual bond of fidelity which is essential to the Sacrament.
Is he right or is he wrong?
First, let’s consider the question in the context of the Church’s consistent teaching regarding the influence and impact which parents and the experience of family life has upon one’s understanding and assimilation of the Catholic Faith.
Embedded with the actual ritual of the Sacrament of Baptism, the Church re-affirms its ancient and consistent teaching that “parents are the first teachers of their children in the ways of Faith”.
The parents, not the Church, are the first teachers. Their witness, their example, their practice has the greatest influence in the formation of their children as Catholics.
No Pope, Bishop, Pastor or Priest, no catechetical program, parochial experience can usurp or replace the cardinal role which parents and the family play in forming the values and truths of the Faith which will form the Catholic consciousness of children.
The Church has further maintained that the family is not only “the smallest Church” but it is the smallest group of any society which derives its character and personality from the family units which comprise it.
The interplay which families have on society and society on families has been studied for centuries and is well known to theologians and moral scholars.
Families influence social values and are in turned influenced by the values of the societies in which they themselves exist. A strong, stable family unit is not only worthwhile, it's necessary for maintaining a healthy, upstanding society.
Unfortunately, where there is a decline in the strength and unity of the family, it has a direct and negative impact on society as a whole.
On the other hand, Society shapes our family lives in several ways, three of which are: financially, behaviorally and cognitively.
Moreover, societal values influence family members by exerting pressure to assimilate expectations of success and status.
Social values can profoundly affect the family’s moral outlook. Fear of ostracism/punishment can force individual to do or profess what society deems as acceptable or refrain from doing or professing what society considers wrong. Social pressures and expectations limit personal and family behaviors as people fear being judged or labeled negatively.
In order to meet society’s expectations, people may feel the need to conceal or deny values or beliefs the social group finds intolerable or unacceptable.
Within the context of these facts, the Pope saying that the great majority of Catholic marriages today are null and void is perfectly understandable and reasonable.
Society today does not value the exclusivity or perpetuity of marital commitment. Within the Catholic experience of marriage, there is little difference between the rate of divorce among Catholic spouses than among non-Catholic, even non-Christian spouses.
More and more children today are being raised in homes which have experienced the tragedy of divorce. The number of homes in which children are being raised (being formed in character and values) by single parents (mostly moms) is staggering.
A recent study conducted by the Pew Reseach Center indicates that one of the largest shifts in family structure is this: 34% of children today are living with an unmarried parent—up from just 9% in 1960, and 19% in 1980. In most cases, these unmarried parents are single. However, a small share of all children—4%—are living with two cohabiting parents.
How is it possible to suggest that the children brought up in these family environments will have an understanding and appreciation of the Church’s expectation that Sacramental Marriage is essentially a commitment of fidelity and permanence?
Truth be told, most Pastors are aware that the vast majority of Catholic couples who present themselves for Marriage do so on the basis of conditional (what the Pope terms as “provisional”) consent.
If seriously questioned by their Pastors (most of whom avoid the question completely) if any situation or occurrence would lead them to separate or divorce their intended spouse, they will openly and forthrightly offer any number of scenarios: infidelity, lack of support for the family, alcohol or drug abuse.
These conditions, these “provisions”, which couples believe justify separation and divorce render the marital vows null and void from the outset.
Moreover, Marriage is the only Sacrament which the Church holds is established and conferred, even in the absence of Catholic Faith. Whether or not the couple intends to receive the Sacrament, the fact that both are baptized along with the mere ritual and formal exchange of consent establishes the Sacrament and binds the couple its rights and obligations?
How is it possible for couples who never practice their Faith, whose families are broken by divorce, whose parents have never given witness to Catholic teaching or moral doctrines, to have the discretion and will which the establishment of the marital bond requires?
Again, truth be told, most couples choose church weddings because the Bride, the Bride wishes to have her wedding day, the dress, the ceremony, the reception. Most couples choose a wedding rather than a Marriage. That’s the sad reality of the world today.
The Holy Father, aware of this reality, rightfully states that the great majority of Catholic marriages are null and void.
He shouldn’t be criticized (as he no doubt will be by conservative reactionaries), but he should be lauded for his honesty and the need he suggest for the Church to get serious in its pastoral service to those who are considering Sacramental Marriage as well as those who have married and even those whose marriages have failed.
Having served as a Judge in a Marriage Tribunal for over two decades, very early on, I came to the conclusion that most Catholic marriages were in reality null and void from the beginning for these very reasons. In some cases, the limitations of Canon Law and tribunal procedure did not provide the evidence required to render a Sentence of Nullity. However, in those instances where nullity was established by proofs, those proofs consisted largely of a fundamental inability on the part of one or both of the spouses to understand (have due discretion) the essence of marital commitment or the fundamental ability (have due competence) to establish and maintain a marital union.
The Pope has spoken the truth.
The question now is: what is the Church prepared to do to address the issue seriously and maturely?
I, for one, am waiting for that response. I am sure there are others who both agree with the Holy Father and are anxious for a pastoral approach which will respond to the critical state in which the Sacrament of Marriage finds itself in contemporary Catholicism.
In Part Two (which follows), I will address the Pope’s comments regarding cohabiting couples receiving the grace of Sacramental Marriage.
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