Sunday, October 8, 2017

CATHOLIC MARRIAGE TODAY: Part Two --Grace Conferred to Cohabiting Couples

Recently, Pope Francis spoke at a Pastoral Congress on the Family for the Diocese of Rome.  In his response to questions, the Pope stated  that the “great majority” of Catholic marriages are “null” – in other words, not actual marriages.  

I have addressed the Pope’s statement in Part One of this article.

But, the Holy Father also stated that “some cohabitating couples are in a ‘real marriage’, receiving the grace of the Sacrament.” 

The Pope’s response regarding cohabitation came in response to a question on the crisis in Sacramental Marriage as understood and celebrated in the Church today. 

In his reply, Pope Francis spoke of couples preferring to cohabitate, and told priests not to tell them to marry, but to accompany them instead.  “They prefer to cohabitate, and this is a challenge, a task. Not to ask ‘why don’t you marry?’ No, to accompany, to wait, and to help them to mature, help fidelity to mature.”

He added, “In Argentina’s northeast countryside, couples have a child and live together. They have a civil wedding when the child goes to school, and when they become grandparents they ‘get married religiously.’”

“It’s a superstition, because marriage frightens the husband. It’s a superstition we have to overcome,” the Pope said. “I’ve seen a lot of fidelity in these cohabitations, and I am sure that this is a real marriage, they have the grace of a real marriage because of their fidelity.”

In Part One of this article, I explained the reasons why I believe the Pope’s statements regarding the great majority of Catholic marriages being null and void is both understandable and realistic.

However, regarding the Pope’s answer to the question of cohabitation, I find myself seriously confused and at a loss to comprehend what the Holy Father is teaching.

Regarding the experience of cohabitation within the Church and modern society, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states what I believe is the clear and consistent teaching of Catholic Faith:

Some today claim a "right to a trial marriage" where there is an intention of getting married later. However firm the purpose of those who engage in premature sexual relations may be, "the fact is that such liaisons can scarcely ensure mutual sincerity and fidelity in a relationship between a man and a woman, nor, especially, can they protect it from inconstancy of desires or whim." Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages." It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another.  (Paragraph 2391)

Let’s be clear about one thing from the outset.

I am of the understanding that Pope Francis' statements regarding cohabitation are to be understood in the context of couples who engage in marital intercourse and have not chosen or accepted the Church’s expectation that they live together as “brother and sister”.

This is an important distinction.

If the Pope’s remarks refer to such “brother and sister” relationships, then perhaps there is some openness to a consideration that grace, either actual or supernatural sacramental grace, is conferred to the couple in such circumstances.  

At least, there can be room for some theological consideration of chaste cohabitation as an instrument of grace.  It would take some doing, but I believe such a consideration could conclude that "brother-sister" marriages (for lack of a better term) could be instruments of grace.

The question of how supernatural or Sacramental Grace can be conferred by cohabiting couples engaged in conjugal acts is another matter altogether.  From my perspective, and others I am sure, it is very problematic.

Here’s the difficulty with the Pope’s position, with which I humbly admit I am dealing.

The Church has consistently and clearly taught that conjugal acts (sexual intercourse) engaged in outside the context of Marriage are in contradiction to the teachings of the Scriptures and violate the dogmatic and doctrinal prescriptions of the Catholic Faith.  These conjugal acts constitute the sin of fornication (possibly even adultery),  grave evils in and of themselves.

On account of the serious consequences resulting from cohabitation, that is, the loss of the sacredness of the marital bond understood in the Biblical context of God’s Covenant with His People and the loss of grace by the sinful act of adultery or at least fornication, grave scandal is created among the faithful and society itself is weakened by the inherit destruction of the very concept of what constitutes the family itself, that is, the marital bond.

It is most difficult to conceive the manner in which such acts which are gravely evil by their very natures could be accompanied by Sacramental grace.

There may be situations (though hard to imagine) in which Catholics are in error in believing that cohabitation as man wife and Sacramental Marriage are considered equally acceptable states of life within the Body of Christ.  

It is possible that, for those acting in erroneous conscience (with no culpability through their invincible ignorance) may be acting contrary to the Divine Mind and Will, but because they sincerely understand and believe that are acting rightly and morally, are capable of receiving grace, (either actual or even possibly Sacramental).  

In that very, very rare circumstance, perhaps the Pope’s response can be understood to be in accord with the consistent teaching of the Church.

And perhaps, I have erred in not allowing for the possibility that the Pope is speaking only to such very rare situations.

But, if the Holy Father is indeed generally suggesting that cohabitation could be in accord with the Divine Will, then  I do not understand how he is not negating the frequent Biblical passages and the consistent teachings of the Ecumenical Councils which profess that the union of a man and woman was envisioned by God Himself as the means by which humanity would multiply and mirror the Love of God for His Church and all Creation.

The Pope’s remarks regarding this are certainly confusing to me.

Perhaps, in the future, some additional commentary will be forthcoming which will give clarity to what the Pope has stated.

I certainly pray and hope so, as I continue to accept all this in the sureness that the Holy Spirit guides the Church and leads the souls of broken humanity to the Love of Our Heavenly Father.

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