The 2018 World Meeting of Families will focus on the theme of "The Gospel of the Family: joy to the world."
In preparation for the meeting, Pope Francis wrote a letter addressed to Cardinal Kevin Farrell, the head of the new Vatican office for Laity, Family and Life.
In the letter, Pope Francis asks: “Does the Gospel continue to be a joy for the world? And also: does the family continue to be good news for today's world?”
The Holy Father continues” “I am sure the answer is yes! And this ‘yes’ is firmly based on God's plan. The love of God is His ‘yes’ to all creation and at the heart of this latter is man. It is God's ‘yes’ to the union between man and woman, in openness and service to life in all its phases; it is God's ‘yes’ and His commitment to a humanity that is often wounded, mistreated and dominated by a lack of love. The family, therefore, is the ‘yes’ of God as Love. Only starting from love can the family manifest, spread and regenerate God's love in the world. Without love, we cannot live as children of God, as couples, parents and brothers.”
Certainly, no one of good will can take exception to the Pope’s sentiments.
The question is: “To whom is Pope Francis speaking?”
Not to American Catholics apparently. Not according to a recent study. The Pew Research Study found that roughly 10% of U.S. Catholics say a household headed by a married mother and father is an ideal situation for bringing up children! Roughly 10%!
But the survey shows the other 90% think other kinds of families – those headed by parents who are single, divorced, unmarried or gay – are fine for raising children, too!
Twenty-five percent of US Catholics have gone through a divorce. Ten percent have not only divorced but also remarried. Ten percent are living with a romantic partner, sans wedding, and more than 25% have done so at some point in their lives.
When it comes to matters of sexuality, there are a number of issues on which US Catholics either mostly disagree with the Church (on the question of whether Catholics should be permitted to use birth control) or are divided (on the question of whether the church should recognize the marriages of gay and lesbian couples).
For example, 84% of Catholics say it is acceptable for unmarried parents who live together to bring up children, including 48% who call this as good as any other arrangement for raising children.
And fully two-thirds of American Catholics think it is acceptable for same-sex couples to raise children, including 43% who say a gay or lesbian couple with children is just as good as any other kind of family.
Leaving children aside, Catholics also condone a variety of adult living arrangements that the Church traditionally has frowned upon. A sizable majority (85%) think it is acceptable for a man and woman to live together as a couple outside of marriage, including more than half (55%) who say cohabitation is as good as any other living arrangement for adults. And 70% of Catholics say married couples who opt not to have children have chosen a lifestyle that is as good as any other.
Moreover, many U.S. Catholics would like the Catholic Church, as an institution, to adopt a more flexible or accepting approach toward people who are divorced, cohabiting with a romantic partner outside marriage or in same-sex relationships.
Fully 60% say the Church should start allowing Catholics who are cohabiting, as well as those who have divorced and remarried without obtaining an annulment, to receive Communion (61% and 62%, respectively). And nearly half of Catholics (46%) think the church should recognize same-sex marriages.
When it comes to traditional Catholic family values, it seems that many Catholics have adopted an almost purely secular mentality little different from the viewpoints of non-Catholics and non-believers alike.
No one would disagree that love is the binding force of family life. But, in the secular and amoral culture in which we now find ourselves, love has become an increasing indefinable, elusive and heroic virtue indeed.
Pious platitudes about love, family, parenting, all well and good have little effect upon the popular culture which is decidedly secular and becoming increasingly so, if that is possible. In this social milieu, relationships, even intimate ones, are disposable when they cease to be convenient and satisfying.
I confess that, as I read the Pope’s letter to Cardinal Farrell, I could have been reading the latest psycho-babble of Dr. Phil or Oprah.
Everyone agrees that love is the core of family life. The problem is the understanding and investment which contemporary Catholics and others apply to the word “love”.
The Holy Father should understand this and reinforce the Biblical understanding of the essence of what true love really is, the surrender in good will to the needs of the other, with no condition and with absolute fidelity.
I find this Biblical understanding of love lacking in the Holy Father’s letter and, I suspect, it will be sorely lacking at the upcoming World Meeting of Families.
We need to reinforce first principles about family life and love. What we don't need is bumper sticker pious platitudes.
Postscript:
While we're thinking about it, weren't many of these same Catholics educated in Catholic schools? As I have said for years, Catholic school graduates show little difference, if any, in their adherence to Catholic teaching, moral and doctrinal. So much for the amount of human and financial resource American Catholic parishes expend in support of Catholic education these days!
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